List of my favourite things:
- Nose piercings
- Ginger beards
- AND LONG HAIR MMF
He’s known me for so long that I don’t understand how he can’t comprehend that I wake up every single day and I’m physically repulsed by myself.
How I put on a front while I resist the overwhelming urges to scratch the flesh off my body just to feel less suffocated by the apron of fat I trudge around in every day.
And how I wake up every day exhausted of living and lying.
And drag myself through the day and fall to sleep at night praying I don’t have to do it again.
And how I fucking wish I would die because I’d rather be dead than feel the way I feel.
Because I have never NEVER hated another person the way I hate myself.
Because I am disgusting.
And I am worthless.
And everytime someone makes a comment like that it reconfirms the fact that my existence is flawed,
I am entirely broken and I’ve run out of the desire to waste my energy pretending to be something I’m not. Because I can’t. And I’m done.